It has now been 11 weeks since we lost Benjamin. One of things that has haunted me through this whole experience is the overwhelming feeling of hopelessness. I have a fear that I will never recover from losing my first-born child. The persistent feeling of sadness and despair over such an extended period is really, [...]
The good days have been a little scarce for the last few weeks. Ever since we collected Benjamin’s ashes from the cemetery I have really been struggling (well struggling even more than usual!). Some friends and family have asked me why I think it’s been particularly bad and whether certain things trigger me or not. [...]
A punch made without warning, allowing no time for preparation or defence on the part of the recipient Up until now loss and grieving have only ever been brief visitors in my life. When you lose a loved one who has lived a long and happy life there is a certain amount of inevitability about [...]
As soon as we saw Benjamin we thought he was absolutely perfect. His little button nose, his beautiful little eyelashes, his huge hands and feet...the list could go on forever. While I was pregnant with Benjamin I would say to my friends in work "Now once you meet Little Merv you don't have to tell [...]
Before Benjamin I was never one of those people who had always wanted kids. I met my husband, Merv, when I was 23. We were more concerned with our careers, our hobbies and travelling than starting a family. In fact during this time I tried my very best not to get pregnant. Kids were always [...]
Benjamin's Light 