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Returning To Work After Baby Loss

I didn't think that I would ever be ready to return to work after losing Benjamin. After he died everything just seemed so pointless. I had no motivation to do anything. The thought of actually caring whether I reached a made-up deadline at work seemed ridiculous. The thought of facing all the looks of pity... Continue Reading →

A Year Full of Love

“2018 will be a better year for you” I have been told over and over again with an enthusiasm and wilful desire that almost makes me believe it. For most looking from the outside in it must seem like the worst year of my life, and in many ways it was. But it was also... Continue Reading →

When it’s all over

So I’ve made it through my first Christmas without Benjamin. I would love to be able to write about the endless positives that shone through. I would love to be able to tell you that despite all the sadness I still felt hope and happiness. The truth is that I just felt so desperately sad,... Continue Reading →

A not so happy Christmas

Christmas this year is looming over me like a dark cloud. With each week that passes I feel more and more suffocated, almost trapped. I feel like I want to get out, to escape. I have a deep yearning to hide away from the rest of the world and only reappear once all the festivities... Continue Reading →

Answers won’t bring him back

In a society where there are answers for everything how do you manage when you can find none? When one of the worst things in life happens you expect to get an answer. When your unborn child dies without warning you expect an answer. So how do you cope when you get none? Benjamin's pregnancy... Continue Reading →

The hardest goodbye

This blog is dedicated to the thousands of Mummies and Daddies out there who have to do the unthinkable…bury their child. I write these words with a heavy heart that is bursting with love for a part of me that will be forever missing. Those of you who have been following my blog may have... Continue Reading →

The lonely road of grief

Foreword:  I wrote this blog nearly 3 months ago now but never shared it.  Sometimes I think it is just too sad to share but yet it is exactly how I was feeling at the time and in a lot of ways still feel now.   Grieving the loss of your baby is a very,... Continue Reading →

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