As I sat in the hospital room holding Benjamin’s lifeless body in my arms I truly felt that there could never be any joy for me in the world again. How could there be without him? How could I ever smile again after giving birth to my first child who would never open his eyes, [...]
As I sit here and write this blog I’m waiting in Sydney airport to fly to the States. I feel paralysed with anxiety and fear and I cannot explain why. Travelling is one of my favourite things in life. Normally I would be sitting here restless with excitement at the thought of exploring somewhere new. [...]
I had a really good week last week. I was so full of enthusiasm, so full of life. It was a refreshing change to all the sadness. This week, however, has not been good. I feel like I’m on a knife-edge, bursting into tears at a moment’s notice. It feels different to other bad weeks [...]
A lot of things have taken me by surprise through this journey - the intensity of my emotions, the depths of despair, discovering hope when I thought there was none. The list could go on and on. One of the biggest revelations for me, however, has been the number of people who have ignored the [...]
When Benjamin died everything fell apart. I couldn’t do anything. I felt completely useless. The smallest of tasks felt impossible. I might as well have been trying to climb Mount Everest. In my previous life I was a high functioning, achievement-orientated person who had to be in control of everything. Forward planning was my speciality. [...]
Benjamin's Light 